Today, I was invited to attend some Christian Youth Camp. I didn’t know it was a Christian one when they invited me but when I learned that it is, I backed out. I have tried to be a participant in a lot of Christian camps cause some people think that they could change me for the “better”. I don’t need some camp director telling me that what my beliefs are are wrong. I had this experience before that a priest announced to the whole campsite that I’m going to hell since I’m an atheist. He asked where did I get the guts to tell him that I am one. Would he rather that I lie? Would he like me to pretend that I’m praying while I’m asleep on my knees? I thought that they teach people to be honest in Christianity? You might be thinking; why not say no? Don’t attend a camp all together. Well, we cannot graduate high school without joining the retreat. I just hate that they are such hypocrites, saying that Christianity is a religion of acceptance and peace is just wrong.
I love my best friend. She’s always there to support me. She tells me if I’m wrong but respects the decisions that I make. We go boy-hunting together. We hang-out at libraries and coffee shops. We study together. She helps me with school. She listens to my opinion and we always talk about the things that are bothering us. We are very open with each other. We make fun of each other. She’s a better writer than I will ever be. We are cam-whores. She reminds me of the things that I need to do, cause I’m one forgetful person. It’s me and her against the world.
It always amazes me how people perceive me as a blunt person. That I always tell them the truth, what I think about them or how I think about everything else. Most of the time I say it without thinking about the consequences of the words that I have spoken. Words hurt and I have hurt a lot of people using it.
I’m an honest person. At least, I think so. Some people hate me for it. I guess, people hear what they want to hear. But it never hinders me to state my opinion. I always think that a person needs to have that one friend who’ll tell them the truth without thinking that it may hurt them. It’s always good to tell a person that they look fat with the clothes that they are trying on, that way they can buy something else.
I think one of my biggest faults is I never filter what I say. Some might find it good, but I find it bad. I have lost a lot of friends due to my inability to shut my mouth. I just need to learn to talk when it’s appropriate and I’ll be a little but prepared for the real world.
When I was in high school, I disliked this one girl. I wasn’t the only one actually. Most of my schoolmates also disliked her. Yesterday, we met again and I told her I was sorry. College opened my eyes that there are a lot of different kinds of people out there. Thinking about it now, the only thing that she did was being herself. I should have commended her for showing us her true self. She was different and she didn’t fit in and I judged her for that. I was immature and stupid. I didn’t openly showed my dislike to her. I think that was much worse, since I acted like I was her friend while back-biting her. She told me she forgives me. She was shocked when I suddenly apologized since she thought I was her friend and that made me more guilty than I was at that time. That’s why I’m going to try to be a better person and refrain myself from judging people.
These past few days, I have nothing to blog about. I’ve been rummaging my mind to come up with something but still none. I read, I watched the news, I observed people and apparently, I still have no idea. I’m thinking about talking about all my failed attempts of a relationship. Then I realized, nobody wants to know about my relationship problems. That’s just overly dramatic and uncalled for. I don’t want my readers to think that I’m some teenage girl who thinks the world should revolve around me and my boy problems. So, change of plans. I thought about talking about the social and political problems here in the Philippines. But seeing as I am not really an expert, I crossed that idea out. I don’t want to blabber about things that I am not even sure myself. I may give my opinions sometimes, but it will be more on the subjective side. So, I really have no idea. I need to grow and experience the world more. So, I guess you’ll need to settle on my childish blogs. Maybe someday, I’ll come up with something really good to talk about.