I think I won’t have friends starting tomorrow. I think everyone hates me. God I’m so pathetic.
Fitting in is really difficult. Having friends in a new environment where everyone seems to already know each other, people who are totally different than you are. Most people might say; don’t fit in, stand out. It’s easy to say those words but to actually do it is really difficult. Most especially teenagers like me. We want to fit in. I want to fit in.
It’s been a really hard transition from my previous school to my new school. I am still studying in a medical college but it’s still so different. I have a very difficult time adjusting to the new environment of my new school. People in my new school are more academically inclined compared to my previous school, where people are more laid back.
Adjusting is difficult. Being new is difficult. And I don’t think I am making it any easier for myself. My personality screams awkward. Approaching me is really difficult. I have a very weird humor. I dress up like a hippie. I am a very blunt person. I tried and I am still trying my best to be one of the most likable human being on the face of the planet.
I stand out. Not really in an outstanding kind of way, but I do stand out. Thanks to the clothes I wear. Since it’s already during my second year of university that I transferred, everyone is already wearing their uniform while I’m wearing civilian clothes.
I wish I could just fit in and live a carefree school life, where my only problems are my grades. I have never tried this hard in my life to be able to be part of the many and I’ll try my hardest to be able to succeed.
Dear Ms. User-friendly,
I really hate you. I know it’s wrong to judge since I just met you last week but couldn’t you get anymore faker? You only talk to me when you need something. I really tried to befriend you. I really did. I know I can’t force anyone to like me but the same goes to you as well. Just because you “think” you’re popular doesn’t mean everyone likes you. If you want an example, there’s always me. I know you dislike my friend, for reasons I do not know and I don’t care, but why include me? I don’t even talk to my friends about you cause I don’t want to start a fight. A lot of people say my personality is intimidating but I don’t think it affects you at all. It’s so obvious that you talk behind my back. I don’t care if I’m new to the school but the next time you try to mooch off me, you’re going to experience my wrath.
A furious iamakickedoutgorl
I love my best friend. She’s always there to support me. She tells me if I’m wrong but respects the decisions that I make. We go boy-hunting together. We hang-out at libraries and coffee shops. We study together. She helps me with school. She listens to my opinion and we always talk about the things that are bothering us. We are very open with each other. We make fun of each other. She’s a better writer than I will ever be. We are cam-whores. She reminds me of the things that I need to do, cause I’m one forgetful person. It’s me and her against the world.
It always amazes me how people perceive me as a blunt person. That I always tell them the truth, what I think about them or how I think about everything else. Most of the time I say it without thinking about the consequences of the words that I have spoken. Words hurt and I have hurt a lot of people using it.
I’m an honest person. At least, I think so. Some people hate me for it. I guess, people hear what they want to hear. But it never hinders me to state my opinion. I always think that a person needs to have that one friend who’ll tell them the truth without thinking that it may hurt them. It’s always good to tell a person that they look fat with the clothes that they are trying on, that way they can buy something else.
I think one of my biggest faults is I never filter what I say. Some might find it good, but I find it bad. I have lost a lot of friends due to my inability to shut my mouth. I just need to learn to talk when it’s appropriate and I’ll be a little but prepared for the real world.
When I was in high school, I disliked this one girl. I wasn’t the only one actually. Most of my schoolmates also disliked her. Yesterday, we met again and I told her I was sorry. College opened my eyes that there are a lot of different kinds of people out there. Thinking about it now, the only thing that she did was being herself. I should have commended her for showing us her true self. She was different and she didn’t fit in and I judged her for that. I was immature and stupid. I didn’t openly showed my dislike to her. I think that was much worse, since I acted like I was her friend while back-biting her. She told me she forgives me. She was shocked when I suddenly apologized since she thought I was her friend and that made me more guilty than I was at that time. That’s why I’m going to try to be a better person and refrain myself from judging people.
My friend is super religious. She’s fasting so that she could get better grades. She thinks that it really works. She’s the one who’s pulling all-nighters and studies till the break of dawn. Yet, she still thinks that she won’t receive good grades if she won’t fast. The thing that she’s fasting is her computer usage. She won’t do anything that involves using a computer. She won’t turn it on, update her social network and stuff. Sure, maybe you’d get good grades for not touching your computer. But the things is, thinking that good grades is a divine manifestation for not opening your Facebook account? Is God like stalking you on Facebook now or following you on Twitter? I can’t do anything against it. I mean, free will anyone? It still baffles and disturbs me though. It’s not because of my atheism that it bothers me, my common sense comes into play. My only question is; if God loves you, why do you need to say no to the things that you like?